One Year Ago

Your journey has molded you for your greater good. And it was exactly what it needed to be. Don’t think that you’ve lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is the right time 

A year ago, I was heading in a completely different direction.

I had applied and been accepted into University of Wisconsin-Madison (as a junior). Going there I would have taken two more years to graduate. Seems like a ridiculous decision now but at the time it felt right.

I was tired of being at Pacific. My life at Pacific no longer made sense. I was bored, unsatisfied, discontent, and unhappy with my life. I needed a change.

I was in another serious relationship where I was becoming a person, I never wanted to be but was too blind to see it.

So moving to Wisconsin to get teaching certified seemed like the answer. 

I initially started looking for different schools when my partner at the time was applying to grad schools. We had talked about me applying to schools near by where we could still see each other over the weekend or something. 

When he was looking at schools in Chicago and Indiana, I found Madison. Right away I wanted to go there because they were ranked among the top in the U.S.

I looked at two other schools on the East Coast that were within 3 hours of where he could be. But when it came to submitting applications I only applied to Madison. He ended up applying there too.

He was accepted into two PhD programs. One in Washington and one in Madison. While he was debating between which school he was going to go to I told him that regardless of where he chose, if i was accepted to UW-Madison I was going to move to Wisconsin.

Anyway, why am I taking this trip down to memory lane? I’m not sure. 

Up until last year I had a plan and a timeline. 

I was going to be a history teacher, a principal, a superintendent, and then work for the department of education. 

I was going to be married and have my five kids by the time was was thirty.

I was moving to Wisconsin in order to accomplish all of those things sooner.

None of that makes sense to me now. 

But it was through rushing through my plans and being so set on accomplishing them that my plans changed.

I did not move to Madison and I am not working on becoming a teacher.

While my change of plans was not intentional and although I was scared shitless when I was scrambling to get my life together it turns out that God had things already figured out for me. 

And this plan is a lot better (not always easier) than what I had initially planned.

While I felt lost and confused. I did find my way. I learned the hard way, made mistakes, and found love and comfort in places I did not expect.